ARE YOU SABOTAGING YOUR LOVE LIFE?

You try so hard to change the other person or the situation you are in but you keep being haunted by it. You feel you are a victim of life or of the other person, you feel frustrated and lost without a direction.

There is something inside of you that tells you you’ve have to make a change, you fear history might repeat itself and you don’t know how to stop it.

Why is this?

Believe it or not, you might be sabotaging your love life without being aware of it.

There are many ways to sabotage the relationship you are in. The one I had experienced and also the most common in clients I work with originated in our childhood.

The people and relationship environments we grew up in in a way is what is comfortable for us and this defines our comfortable energy level.

I grew up in Venezuela and one of my favorite foods was cheese empanadas (it’s a fried cheese patty made out of corn flour). For a few years now I’ve been gluten and dairy free but when I am visiting in Miami or back at home I can’t resist eating an empanada no matter what kind of diet I am on because eating it reminds me of home (my comfortable energy level) and the same happens with relationships.

As adults we tend to find ourselves in very similar if not the same, relationship environments as the ones we had growing up.

Now, let’s go back to your childhood, shall we?

Who did you grow up with (mom and dad, single mom, grandma, etc)?

How was the relationship environment you grew up around (independent single mom, divorce parents, aggressive parent, geneous parent, verbal abusive parent, alcoholic or drug addict parent, strict parent, abandonment by one of the parents, excessive behaviour by one of the parents like lots of shopping or traveling, powerful parent like a diplomac or celebrity, etc)?

Now think about your current or last relationship, is it the same or a similar environment? Are you modeling your prime care taker (for example your mom is still single and so are you or your partner is aggressive and so was your dad)?.

This happens because on a subconscious level you look for the environment you were in when growing up because this is what matches your comfortable energy level no matter how good or bad this is for you.

From my diet’s perspective, empanadas aren’t healthy for me and I know that but I still can’t resist them even knowing I could get stomach sick after eating them (for not having dairy in a long time).

The same happens with relationships – you know deep inside they aren’t good for you but yet you can’t seem to stop attracting them.

So what do you do? How can you stop sabotaging your love life?

The first step is being aware! Once you are aware you can then choose to do something about it!

If you then choose to do something, then the next step is to detach from that comfortable energy level created in your childhood and let it go. Meditations, therapy or coaching will help you depending on your situation.

As a child, there wasn’t much for you to do, the experiences you went through were in your life to teach you something, take the lesson and let go what is not serving you. As an adult you can now choose a new environment around you. It might take for you to look for help like I did and most of the women I work with but always remember you are not a child anymore, you have a choice!

If you don’t know where to start, take advantage of my free 30 min strategy coaching session. I will guide you on the right path :).

Let me know if you found this post helpful. And if you haven’t already, make sure you check out my FREE resources!